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Negotiation
3 min read
November 7, 2025

From Me vs. You to We: The Magic of Win-Win

Move beyond a fixed-pie mindset. Great deals are built on creating value for both sides.

Many people view negotiation as a battle over a fixed pie, where any gain for one side is a loss for the other (distributive negotiation). The most skilled negotiators, however, focus on making the pie bigger for everyone (integrative negotiation).

The Shift in Mindset

Instead of thinking, "How can I get the most for myself?" ask, "How can we structure a deal that works best for both of us?" This transforms the dynamic from adversarial to collaborative problem-solving.

Strategies for Creating Value

1. Identify Interests, Not Positions

A position is what someone says they want ("I need a 20% discount"). An interest is the underlying reason they want it ("We have a strict quarterly budget we can't exceed").

If you can solve for their interest, their position becomes flexible. Maybe you can't give a 20% discount, but you could offer flexible payment terms that align with their budget cycle.

2. Trade on Differences

Find things that are low-cost for you to give but high-value for them to receive, and vice-versa.

**Priorities:** They might care more about the delivery date, while you care more about the payment terms. You can trade a concession on one for a gain on the other.

**Risk Tolerance:** A startup might be willing to take on more risk in a partnership deal in exchange for more upside potential, which a large corporation might value less.

3. Brainstorm Multiple Options

Don't get stuck on a single proposal. Generate several packages or options with different terms. This encourages the other side to think about what they value most, rather than just accepting or rejecting a single offer.

The Long-Term Advantage

By focusing on creating mutual gain, you not only increase your chances of getting a deal done but also build stronger, more sustainable long-term relationships.

When both parties feel they've won, they're more likely to:

  • Honor the agreement enthusiastically
  • Return for future deals
  • Recommend you to others
  • Be flexible when unexpected challenges arise

Breaking the Fixed-Pie Illusion

The fixed-pie mindset is often just an illusion. With creativity and collaboration, you can almost always find ways to expand the value available to both sides. The question is: are you willing to explore those possibilities?

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